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We know that dangerous stereotypes of who will and won’t breastfeed can impact practice and purpose—affecting whom we raise our voices for and whom we may feel is not worthy of a shout.
And in a society where breastfeeding is often associated with a determination of being a so-called “good” or “bad” mother, then assumptions about which mothers want to breastfeed and who is “worthy” of the privilege become even more complex when considering women in prison. In those simplistic conversations, there is little consideration of the role of poverty, systemic racism and the woeful lack of support services and its impact on how women end up in prison.
The judgment is simply quick and severe.
Last week, a judge in New Mexico submitted a groundbreaking written order establishing the right of all incarcerated women in state prisons to breastfeed. The order went one step further to also include access to an electric pump so that new mothers can provide breastmilk when they are separated from their baby.
The case involved 33-year-old Monique Hidalgo who wanted to breastfeed her 5-week old baby Isabella, when she was brought to visit on weekends by her father. The Corrections Department said No. Ms. Hidalgo also wanted an electric pump so she could maintain her supply and provide breastmilk for her baby when they were separated. The Corrections Department said No to that too. So she sued.
And with the support and advocacy of the New Mexico Breastfeeding Task Force the ACLU and other partners, including on-the-ground recommendations from Young Women United, a new milestone in breastfeeding normalcy was achieved. Did you and your organization share the good news?
While the order stands to impact countless women in state prison in New Mexico it also has sweeping national ramifications. And for our work. It’s an important leverage point for an uncomfortable conversation about how incarcerated women are viewed in society, and perhaps even within the breastfeeding movement.
You should have seen the Facebook comments on recent posts covering the news of the New Mexico case. Women claimed that Ms. Hidalgo didn’t “deserve” to breastfeed and that she was not worthy of the privilege to breastfeed.
To start, the judge’s ruling clearly established what we know and fight for—that breastfeeding is a right. As long as it is viewed as a privilege, then subjective lines are drawn about who deserves to breastfeed and who actually cares about giving the best infant nutrition for their child. A privilege must be earned or it is given to only select people.
Nor can we forget that the corrections system was built by men and for men. Women are the fastest growing population, but still a very small percentage of the overall prison population. And we know how well most patriarchal structures and institutions have historically served the needs of women.
And what of the innocent baby?
Our society’s deep focus on punishing mothers has forgotten about the helpless infants who are often ripped away from their mothers hours after leaving the womb and then denied the bonding and preventative health benefits of breastfeeding, even though maternal contact has been shown to improve child development outcomes over and over again.
All infants have a right to equal access to their optimal food, too.
Meanwhile, researchers are finally saying what we have known for years: Breastfeeding is healing.
Not just the milk, but the bonding experience too. Babies who will be ultimately disconnected from their mothers for extended periods of time at least deserve the gift of early bonding. Recently a New York Times article showed that opioid addicted babies recover quicker and often without any drugs when they are kept with their mother. That time with their mother can include breastfeeding of any variation.
“The model of care that’s being touted now is really that the mother is the first line of treatment for the baby,” said Dr. Debra L. Bogen, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, speaking about a recent study of opioid addicted babies.
Mothers are helped too.
“Separation may impair her attachment to her baby, increase the guilt she feels about the impact her addiction has on her baby and diminish her perception of her own mothering capacity — all of which can increase her risk of relapse,” Bogen said in the article.
Infants who are born to an incarcerated mother—whether she is drug addicted or not—are already at a disadvantage. Does society need to pile on, by denying bonding, breastmilk and a better chance at healthy development?
As advocates, who have moved our efforts into employers offices, day care centers, shopping malls and into communities, we cannot forget about mothers who are behind bars. And as our understanding deepens of the social stressors and environmental factors that contribute to successful breastfeeding, we can’t forget about shedding light on some of the root issues and alternative solutions that would keep more women out of prison in the first place.
“In general, reproductive justice stops at the prison door,” Amy Fettig, Deputy Director, ACLU National Prison Project, said to me in a recent interview, noting that in more than half of U.S. states, it is still not illegal for women to give birth in shackles.
We can do better. Yes, we have many doors to knock down to support equal access to breastfeeding, but we should not forget prison doors. Many thanks to Ms. Hidalgo and baby Isabella for the reminder.
Kimberly Seals Allers is an award-winning journalist and nationally recognized advocate for infant and maternal health. A former writer at Fortune and senior editor at Essence, she is the author of The Big Letdown—How Medicine, Big Business and Feminism Undermine Breastfeeding (St. Martin’s Press). A former Food & Community Fellow with the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy, Kimberly is a divorced mother of two. Follow her on Twitter at @iamKSealsAllers
“The human voice is the organ of the soul,” –Henry Wandsworth Longfellow
A few weeks ago, I spoke publicly about something in my life that I have never really discussed at length. That is, when I was young, I struggled with a speech impediment. For many of you, who have seen me speak on multiple stages and receive standing ovations, you may be surprised to learn this, but it’s true. There was a time in my life when my spoken words failed me. Speaking was a weakness–I was often teased and mocked. I will always remember the tears.
And the fear—I was afraid of speaking words. This was particularly painful because I loved words–I loved pretty much anything with words on, in or around them–so to be challenged by something you love so deeply is even more painful.
Now, any therapist worth her co-pay would tell you that is most likely why I took to writing—when my spoken words failed me, I turned to the written word. I found my power with my pen. Written words became my solace. On the page, they were my friend, off the page–my worse enemy. But I studied them meticulously. Thankfully, my parents got me speech therapy help at an early age but I distinctly recall how I actively worked against this weakness. I was determined to learn a lot of words because I figured that if I knew a lot of words, I could avoid the ones that I knew might cause a stutter or a mispronouncing. I trained my mind to be quick to anticipate my word choice so I could formulate sentences based on words I knew I could deliver.
Even as a child, I was a fighter and always determined to find a way. And eventually I did—I found my way.
One of the things I am proud of is that by focusing on being powerful with my pen, that ultimately became my gateway to finding my strength and confidence again verbally. Finding a strength begets strength. You conquer a fear, there is another one you can surely defeat. I believe that because I lived that.
I share this story with you because recently I have been involved in a very important effort to combat misinformation and fear mongering about exclusive breastfeeding. I have joined with my respected comrades at 1,000 Days to ask others in the breastfeeding space to raise their voices collectively to stand against a fast-moving threat to our work. In April, we kicked off a coordinated effort to set the record straight on breastfeeding in response to the disinformation campaign organized by the Fed Is Best Foundation.
Raising that voice is not without fears.
I get that many breastfeeding supportive organizations and individuals may not feel strong enough, big enough, media-savvy enough to exercise their voice in this way. It may require stepping out of a comfort zone and into an unknown area of communications or advocacy.
I also get that many infant health advocates see me as a strong voice for our cause (and I am honored to serve as I can) but I want to tell you today that this was not always the case. And in sharing my truth, I also want to share three important lessons:
- Defeat Fear. For years I feared words—some I ran completely away from—there are probably still a few that I won’t touch. But I didn’t let that fear stop me, I worked at developing another strength. You don’t have to be fear-free to move past fear and act anyway.
- Play to your strength. Find your workaround.
- Silence is never an option. Even when I was afraid to speak out, silence was never an option for me. I knew I had something important to say—I just needed to figure out how to say it. If I couldn’t speak it, I would write it.
- Never, never give up. One of my greatest joys with my children is having them in the audience when I speak or sharing with them that I received a standing ovation because they know that I once struggled with words and I take great pride for them to see that I overcame a weakness and actually turned it into my strength. Every time I present to a crowd I view it as a triumph because I know what it feels like to be laughed at when you try to speak. As my children deal with their own weaknesses, battle insecurities or deal with teasing, I remind them everyday that if they work hard and don’t give up, they too, can triumph over any fear or any perceived flaws. The victory may not be immediate, but it will come.
Fittingly, today, with 1,000 Days we are launching the #FactsNotFear campaign to highlight that mothers and families deserve FACTS, not fear-mongering. Together with 1,000 Days I have posted a new blog: “Facts Not Fear: Protecting the One Place Where Fear Does Not Belong.” We have also developed some suggested social media posts and graphics for both Facebook and Twitter.
Here are two ways to promote #FactsNotFear starting today:
- Post the blog to your website and/or share it on Facebook and Twitter
- Use the social graphics provided in the links above to get the message out that moms and families deserve #FactsNotFear
With your support, we continue to take a stand for the truth, push past any fear and raise our collective voice to find a way–any way– to say something that is really important.
Silence is not an option. Please join us.
In motherhood,
Kimberly
Getting beyond the headlines to the truth about recent stories of “breastfeeding-related deaths.”
By Kimberly Seals Allers
Losing a child is a tragedy. As the Internet buzzed recently with the story of Jillian Johnson and the death of her son Landon, our hearts ached. Every mother, every human, feels her pain. Often, the best you can glean from any tragedy are important lessons learned. While it may seem easiest to blame breastfeeding or the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative, as the click-generating headlines and story promoters simplistically suggest, that would not give the issue proper justice. If the true end goal is to ensure that no mother has a similar experience to what the Johnson family endured, then it is important to consider all the factors that contributed to that tragic loss and how we respond to that loss. We owe baby Landon that much.
Most importantly, we must not allow the media or any organization’s desire to sensationalize a rare occurrence turn into a dangerous, broad-based message that exclusive breastfeeding kills. That is categorically untrue and extremely irresponsible. In fact, decades of global research proves that exclusive breastfeeding consistently saves lives. The World Health Organization reports that over 800,000 babies could be saved worldwide by increasing breastfeeding rates, preventing 13% of all deaths under age five. The Baby Friendly Hospital initiative served over 788,000 births in 2016 alone, providing evidence-based care with positive outcomes. (Note: The Johnson family has not revealed the name of the hospital so it cannot be confirmed that it was indeed a BFHI certified hospital).
Take for example, seat belts. We know seat belts save lives, by and large, yet we also know that people can still die in a car accident while wearing a seat belt. But it would be short sighted to demonize seat belts in general for the specific incidences where unique circumstances meant a seat belt failed to prevent death. We would not condemn all seat belt use, attack seat belt users or criticize all public health campaigns designed to encourage their use, would we?
Yes, Jillian’s story as a rare occurrence must be told. These stories shock us to see the gaps and do better. But we can’t just stand by while sensational headlines and questionable motives trap us into an equally dangerous matrix of fear, divisiveness and emotional manipulation that foolishly paints a broad stroke over an acute complication when decades of scientific evidence proves that breastfeeding—when properly supported—saves countless babies and improves infant and maternal health.
Now for two important acknowledgments: First, we must acknowledge that not all mothers can successfully exclusively breastfeed. While the percent of women who cannot breastfeed due to biological factors is rather small, lactation is impacted by psychological factors such as anxiety and stress and these are mounting in our society leading to increases in incidences of insufficient milk supply.
Second, we have to acknowledge that most physicians simply do not know enough about lactation medicine and we have to start facilitating and demanding that they receive more evidence-based education about a biological norm. Again, we don’t know for sure that Landon was delivered at a certified Baby Friendly Hospital (although that hasn’t stopped the story promoters from blaming BFHI). But perhaps that is more to the point—that all families, regardless of where they deliver deserve physicians and nurses, who are properly trained and certified in lactation science, so they can effectively educate parents to manage breastfeeding, particularly in the early days and weeks after birth. This includes avoiding “one size fits all” breastfeeding advice and being sure to educate parents on the warning signs of a sick infant, beyond counting diapers. That knowledge also includes understanding medical conditions that can impact milk supply including having a C-section, as Jillian did, and certain health conditions such as the hormonal disorder that Jillian had. Physicians need to better understand lactation and lactation failures.
It is also important to note that the Johnson family tragedy happened five years ago. And much has changed in five years. Think of how far we’ve come in cancer treatment, mobile phone technology and even food labeling transparency in the past five years. Meanwhile, contrary to some published reports, BFHI guidelines have always allowed for supplementation when medically justifiable, such as with an infant like Landon who was in distress prior to the emergency C-section. BFHI guidelines also stipulate that a mother’s educated, informed choice for supplementation will not be denied. [See: Baby-Friendly USA. “Guidelines and Evaluation Criteria for Facilities Seeking Baby-Friendly Designation.” Guideline 6.1, p 18-19, Albany, NY: Baby-Friendly USA, 2016]. In other words, no mother who takes in all the facts and still chooses formula will be denied formula. Period. Point blank.
But there is a critical difference between supporting formula use when medically necessary and undermining breastfeeding among all women, all the time, with insidious marketing schemes including back-door, multi-million dollar payments to hospitals for formula marketing rights. The former requires physician knowledge and close monitoring of a specific infant to recommend supplementation as needed. The latter attempts to broadly trip up all mothers before they even start. One requires surgical skill and precision the other just swings a machete. Similarly, using broad-based scare tactics, horror stories and media manipulation to frighten all mothers is equally reckless. The health of mothers and babies is at stake.
However, one of the most painful parts of reading Jillian’s story, for me, is the sense of responsibility that weighed heavy upon her shoulders. Too often in these experiences we hear of mothers who said they read everything, went to classes, etc, only to be let down by the enormity of motherhood and the realities of breastfeeding. This perpetuates the dangerous thinking that it is up to mothers alone to successfully breastfeed or self-diagnose breastfeeding problems. It’s so terribly easy for a patriarchal culture to put all the responsibility on mothers and not chase the real culprits behind why breastfeeding is often so difficult, particularly in the early days. No holding hospital physicians to task for missing early warning signs. No question of how many International Board Certified Lactation Consultants were employed by the hospital to provide sufficient support. No mention of federal and state laws that allow for a 96-hour minimum stay after a C-section birth. No asking about the importance of prompt follow-up home visits (a standard in the UK and most European countries) or where was the social support of other mothers or relatives who could possibly raise alarms. This is what is most dangerous to us all—the isolation of breastfeeding and the burden mothers are told they must bear alone. It is absolutely unacceptable.
But so is fear mongering.
And parading horror stories and graphic images of sick infants to market your agenda.
Which brings me to a very brief word about The Fed is Best Foundation. I’m all in for sharing stories—even at times, tragic ones— they jar us into seeing how we fail mothers so we can ensure it doesn’t happen again. I am opposed to shaming formula feeders. As a first time mom, my baby was given formula in the NICU. And I refuse to subscribe to the breast vs. bottle wars—that’s a concept pushed by marketing propaganda because it drives profits. All mothers simply want the best for their baby. But I’m deeply concerned by the aggressive and mean-spirited comments posted by the founders on blogs and social media. People are being viciously attacked or blocked simply for expressing counter opinions and sharing important facts. There’s high school-ish name calling that’s downright nasty (please stand by and watch this comments section) and other tactics clearly designed to silence and control women. Is this the best way forward? Adopting tactics of aggression and using cyber bullying is not the modus operandi of a well-intentioned education campaign that merely seeks to caution mothers. With so much at stake, we owe it to our babies and ourselves to question the true intent here.
Succumbing to scare-tactics without carefully considering the systemic failures and all the facts, including examining those who are peddling it, won’t get any of us anywhere in making true changes to the system that failed the Johnson family. That would simply be yet another tragedy.
Kimberly Seals Allers is an award-winning journalist and nationally recognized infant health advocate. Her fifth book, The Big Letdown—How Medicine, Big Business and Feminism Undermine Breastfeeding was released in January by St. Martin’s Press. Learn more at www. KimberlySealsAllers.com and follow her on Twitter @iamKSealsAllers.
True Honesty, Gender Solidarity & Political Correctness Are Dead.
What Now for Mothers & Babies?
As we recover from our unprecedented election season and the stunning results and prepare for the work ahead, it’s important to gather lessons from this experience, especially for our breastfeeding work. After all, organizations and movements are microcosms of society. The conflicts of America are mirrored and magnified in breastfeeding. The cavernous gaps in how this country views where we are as a nation and where we need to go was laid bare last week, and for those of us working for the youngest citizens, infants, we do well to pay attention. We need to put aside the outrage and be eyes wide open to the new realities of our Trump world (like it or not)—starting with these five truths. (Spoiler Alert: You may not like them).
Wake Up Call #1: People lie. Some people lie to pollsters, people lie to co-workers and people even lie to themselves and then go behind closed doors, pulled curtains or boxed off cubicles and act out their real inclinations. This sobering reality has two important implications for our work:
First, mothers may be simply saying the thing they think the doctor, nurse, WIC practitioner, or lactation consultant want to hear—if we are not properly clued into the landscape of women’s lives, we could easily accept this as truth and move on. We’ve seen first-hand that being disconnected to the reality of people’s lives is dangerous –it creates false perceptions and false realities that become the basis for poor decisions and actions. We need more than what people are saying about breastfeeding as the foundation for our work—if you are not deeply rooted and connected to the real people where you work, then you may need to must rethink your strategy now.
The second implication is for the growing momentum on reducing racial disparities and creating a more equitable breastfeeding movement and experience. The truth is, some of our colleagues may be lying. They may say they are all in for equity because it’s the right, as in politically correct, thing to say (more on this in point #2) but behind closed doors this is not a real priority. #NoJudgment. The problem is, those of us who do care about equity have been taking you at your word, trusting that your intentions match your words and expecting you to act accordingly. If you have been lying to yourself, your co-workers or your organization about your commitment to equity in the breastfeeding work, I implore you to find a way to be honest with yourself. No need for an outward confession –that is not my job—but if you are not sincere please respectfully get out of the way of those who are so we can find true allies. Just don’t attend that equity conference. Be too busy for that inclusion webinar. Google “good excuses for getting out of work.” But at least those who are sincere will be the only ones present at these convenings. Those of us who take the work of saving the lives of infants who die at disproportionately higher rates, and the mothers whose lives are forever marred after that death, don’t have time for fakers. If you think we can make breastfeeding great again by maintaining the status quo of power and privilege, then please put on the hat or the pin so we can simply move on past you. There is no judgment here, just a hope that you will free yourself from living a lie and be honest, at least, to yourself about where you stand on the issue. As we have learned, not allowing people the freedom to say, “I want things to stay exactly how they are,” is extremely dangerous. Democracies have crumbled under the lies we tell ourselves. And if you can’t say it, act it, and we can read that too. Which brings me to:
Wake Up Call #2: Political correctness must go in favor of real conversations–the difficult ones. Perhaps we have become so preoccupied with ‘safe spaces” that we create an eggshell culture where people are afraid to speak their true thoughts. In a laudable effort to create “safe spaces” with no triggers we have sometimes ended up with dangerously dishonest ones. We have open elections but hardly any open discourse. As adults, we need the skills to navigate tough conversations –xenophobic ideas, racist ideology and anti-women sentiments have arrived–and they’ve got a platform and a well-coiffed leader. Say hello and deal with it! Being dismissive or judgmental doesn’t work. Thinking that something as complex as breastfeeding can be scrubbed clean of controversy is not realistic. Know the difference between being offended and being insulted—and consider being willing to be offended for the sake of the bigger conversation. Without this environment, as we now know, people act out in private, because they have no place to process their real feelings without judgment or fear of offending. This is dangerous and we have to replace the political correctness in the breastfeeding work with a real-deal dialogue about race, power, class and xenophobia among the movement leadership and the women we serve. When I began the Critical Conversations series, I had no idea just how quickly the need to communicate would accelerate from important to stop-what-you-are-doing-right-now. Please join me on Friday, December 2 from 2:30 to 3:30 for a no-judgment zone, no holds barred, “it’s a Trump world” webinar on the breakthrough conversations that need to be had now. Think of it as radical honesty meets breastfeeding. For the record, I am willing to be offended (not insulted) for the sake of the work, so please ask away. I will ask some special guests to join me—bring your truths, lies, questions, hopes and dreams. We will also discuss this important lesson from the election:
Wake Up Call #3: Be prepared for distrust of white women. In the spirit of honesty and letting go of political correctness, it must be said that it is not lost on any woman of color that 53% of white women voted for Trump. On the other hand, according to some exit poll data, 94% of black women and 68% of Latina women voted for Hillary. That means that more than half of white women voted for a man with misogynistic tendencies, racist policies and who has somehow insulted almost all non-white communities in one way or another over the past year. After this election, there’s a common thinking that some white women can be two-faced and untrustworthy—now with some statistical proof. This is unfortunate (and part of a media narrative, in my opinion) but needs to be acknowledged, particularly as many white women work in communities of color. Please do not be blind to your changing perception. And if you are thinking, all white women should not be judged by the actions of some, I implore you to never, ever utter such words to any person of color who has most likely lived under such unfair rules for all of their lives. Also, this is not the time to complain that you’re a victim of media stereotyping–reason same as above. Quite frankly, there’s some relationship rebuilding and narrative re-framing work to be done here. I will be talking about some strategies in my webinar. And speaking of women….
Wake Up Call #4: Gender solidarity cannot be counted on. Don’t assume buy in from women on women’s issues. Gender solidarity is clearly more complicated at times than racial or political party solidarity. Less than half of white women rallied around the first female president when the other option was a man who is a self-proclaimed ‘pussy-grabber’ who wants to undo Roe v. Wade. Comedienne Samantha Bee had some harsh words for white women, putting it this way: “A majority of white women, faced with the historic choice between the first female president, and a vial of weaponized testosterone said, ‘I’ll take Option B. I just don’t like her,’” she said, scathingly, in an episode of Full Frontal. Unfortunately, women are socialized to see each other as competition from an early age, we are taught to hate our own bodies and criticize each other—this has become socially acceptable female behavior. Later on, as mothers, when the realities of children and the benefit of time should give us more perspective, women find new ways to criticize each other, this time over the false choices such as staying at home versus returning to work, breastfeeding vs. breast milk substitutes, or even just being “good mother”. These are clearly deeply entrenched forces (causing some women to act against their own self-interest) that may not get resolved in our generation. (These powerful dynamics and their roots and implications are covered in Chapter 6 of my upcoming book, The Big Let Down. The title is so apropos right now and,btw, have you pre-ordered yet??) Instead, we may need to accept that our ability to unify women and end even the (mis)perception of any mommy war—may be limited or nil, unless we seriously step up our game. Who’s in? (not making any assumptions here). And lastly…
Wake Up Call #5: The fear is real. Many women are under severe stress right now—fear and anxiety about the future is gripping the nation. People are in tears, battling sleepless nights and/or teetering on depression. We also know that lactation is a self-limiting condition and that stress can literally suppress the lactation process. Acute stress can impact birth outcomes leading to low birth-weight and premature labor. For others, this could be a real tipping point for post-partum depression—either way, we should not take this fear epidemic lightly. It will be interesting to observe and notate how this intense period of fear and anxiety impacts birth outcomes, lactation duration, and PPD among women, particularly women of color (Where my researchers at?). It may be a good time to collaborate with psychologists and other mental health professionals in your work.
It’s a new world, people. We must accept these realities and use them to inform our work—personally, professionally and organizationally. This is no time to live in a breastfeeding bubble. It is the time for hard work, difficult conversations and, as my Granny would say, “to put your tough skin on.” Mothers and babies are counting on us. Let’s get to work!
(“See you” in the comments, on social media and on December 2nd) If you missed the first installment of Critical Conversations, you can get it here.
In motherhood,
Kimberly